Top 13 Move Badasses of All Time

Number 13.
Raizo in Ninja Assasin



Raizo is such a badass that he kills an entire clan of ninjas with either ninja stars, a katana, or a knife on a chain. He cuts off more limbs than bone cancer, making him a true Ninja Badass! Now if only we can pay him to do something about that bitch Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials...

Number 12.
Bryan Mills From Taken



If you are French or Algerian, and know anything about who took his daughter, Bryan Mills will punch you in the throat to death. He single handedly took down an underage prostitution ring in France and shot the Chief of Police's wife in the arm during dinner. How badass is that?

Number 11.
Cpt. John Patrick Mason from The Rock



John Patrick Mason is a an ex-member of the English Secret Service and is the only person to ever escape from Alcatraz Prison. He goes back to the Rock to take out a group of ex-Navy Seals, oh yeah and did I mention that he is a senior citizen? I might not have a long video of him kicking ass, but this one quote says it all...oh yeah and I think he was named after Cartter's badass Dog, which gives him extra badass points.

Number 10.
Wolverine



Wolverine is the only true "Superhero" to make the list. He has some serious rage issues and amnesia which is a great combo. Person who is always angry but doesn't know why. Not to mention that his skeleton is covered in adamantium which makes him nearly indestructible. Add that with his claws that can cut through anything, and you have one serious badass. Oh yeah, and he NEVER, EVER looks at explosions! He would be higher on the list but I had to take away 25,000 badass points because he is Canadian.

Number 9.
The Terminator



The Terminator is an unstoppable killing machine with one goal in mind, kill the future mother of the future leader of the human resistance before she becomes pregnant. Wow, that kind of seems like a dumb plan, why didn't he just go back in time to the 1800s when they didn't have technology and wipe out all of Sarah Connor's ancestors? I don't think he could have been stopped by muskets and raccoon pelts. He also could have killed John Connor when he was a baby or better yet, right when he was delivered. Anyways, he is still a stone cold merciless killer, and that makes him a total badass.

Number 8.
Darth Vader



Darth Vader is a badass son of a bitch. One of the most powerful Jedi of all time, he proves that just because he had a bad past (as a slave), it doesn't mean you can't make something of yourself. He didn't even ask for reparations. In his later years, he kills his best friend and mentor, tries to kill his son (multiple times), tortures and eventually blows up his daughter's planet, and kills his boss and the Emperor of the Universe. That right there is one half robot, white skinned, black voiced, patricidal badass.

Number 7.
James Bond




James Bond is by far the smoothest badass on this list. His badassery has reigned three decades and he has both saved the world and gotten the girl 22 times. He got married once, only to have her killed off later in the movie. Did he mope about his dead wife? Hell no, he was back in action again kicking ass and spreading his seed all around the world. Which brings up a good point, how many STDs does this guy have? He has slept with every heroen and slutty henchwoman since the 70's. How has his penis not fallen off or at least be as equally dangerous as the blood of an Alien? Despite his philandering, the world owes this man a debt of gratitude because if he hadn't been so vigilant over the years we would all be a bunch of dirty damn Commies by now. Thanks James

Number 6.
John McClane from Die Hard 1-4



John McClane is the epitome of a badass.  He is a shit talking alcoholic detective who has found himself in more sticky situations than Snookie's, um snookie.  He has stopped terrorists in New York, twice, in LA, and in DC.  In his adventures he has been more bloodied and battered than Tina Turner.  He has survived building explosions, train bombs, killed one helicopter with one shot from a revolver and another with a police car, and he beat up an F-15 with an 18 wheeler truck.  Thats pretty badass, and oh yeah, Yippie Kay Yay Mother Fucker!

Number 5.
Jason Bourne from The Bourne Trilogy and Charlie Baltimore from A Long Kiss Good Night





Here we have two badass assassins who worked for the US government and both got amnesia. They both kicked ass and murdered all the way to the top to discover their identities. It is difficult to chose who was more badass, Jason Bourne can kick your ass, but Charlie Baltimore will seduce and murder you. As of right now, I will give them a tie for number 5 (we will save a match up for a Thursday Throwdown), but they are both the most badass US assassins who suffered memory loss that cinema has to offer.

Number 4.
The Joker from The Dark Night



The Joker is hands down the most badass villain on this list. He single handedly brings anarchy to Gotham City and blows up Batman's GF. Why does he do this, why the not. The best thing about The Joker is we never get a motive or a back story of why he does what he does. He is just a brilliant sociopath who is out to prove a point. His badassness can be summed up on one scene where he stabs a pencil though a gangster's eyeball, killing him. Words cannot sum up how bad he is, but he is still only number 4.


Number 3.
Grammaton Cleric John Preston From Equilibrium



Most people don't even know who this guy even is, but watch this clip and you will know that he is one hell of a badass. In the future when emotion has been made illegal, it is up to John Preston to punish those with emotions, until he begins to feel himself. He then goes on a badass killing spree, taking out anyone in his way. His total body count ends up being 118 people, which at the time set the world record of people killed by one person in a film. He is now in third place which is the reason why he is not number 1.

Number 2.
John Rambo



Rambo has been a badass and flexed nut since the early 80's. His current body count lies at 230 confirmed kills, which is way beyond impressive. Not only is his rampage massive, but it is also widespread, killing local police, Arabs, and Asians. Rumor has it that his next adventure will either be in South America (welcome back 80s action flicks) or on the American/Mexican border. After his last outing in which there were 2.59 killings per minute, it is fair enough to say that Rambo is one of the biggest badasses of all time, but he is still not number 1.

Number 1.
Jack Bauer



Jack Bauer is hands down the biggest badass in the history of TV and Cinema. He has saved the US from terrorists 8 times, once in DC, once in New York, and a whopping six times in LA. He holds the record for the most people killed by a single person. Jack Bauer's stats don't lie, and if you are a terrorist, you better not lie to Jack. In the line of duty, Jack has killed 265 people, tortured 19 terrorists, killed two Prime Ministers, kidnapped the President twice, killed his own father, was kidnapped by the Chinese Government, been shot 7 times, and "died" 3 times. Not many people have those kind of bragging rights, and all Americans owe Jack Bauer a debt of gratitude. For his service, the city of Las Angeles named a street Jack Bauer Ave, but people kept dying trying to get across because NO ONE CROSSES JACK BAUER AND LIVES! Lets all tip our hat to the biggest badass of all time, and ask "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR???"