Weekly Rant # 1

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SICK AND TIRED OF??? Animals that evolution should have taken out a long time ago. I mean seriously, lets look at the manatee. This creature looks like an obese seal's even more morbidly obese cousin. I mean when your biggest threat to your life is boat engines, you should have punched your ticket a long time ago. How have sharks not found out about these things yet? Great white sharks love seals, I think manatees would be like the veal of the ocean. Also look at the flamingo. They are a neon pink bird with legs that could be broken if they were involved in a big wheel accident. I want to open a store where you pay $29.95 to double bounce a flamingo on a trampoline. Finally, The myotonic or fainting goat. (Although I really do want a flock of these as pets). Here we have an animal whose main self defense is to pass out when it is startled or frightened (yes I know that they don't actually faint/pass out and that it is actually a locking up of the muscles), but again how have wolves not found out about these yet? All they have to do is walk (not even sneak) up on a herd and they can pick and choose from the herd. Fainting Goats are like the Woody Allen of the animal community. Carnivores need to get on their A-game and figure this stuff out because, I'M SICK OF IT!!!